Day Eight: Tokyo

Well, we woke up ready for our last day in Japan, and ready for some sight seeing. Now, Tokyo is famous for many things... Samurais, Tea Houses, Beautiful Temples and Shrines, World Class Cuisine, but there is really only place that interests me. As a nerd, you hear tales of places so magical, so transcendant, soooo awesome that they defy the imagination.

So, while in Tokyo, what would be the very first place an electrical engineer and his otaku/computer programmin' son make a beeline to?

"FABRIC TOWN!?!?! (Throws down racket) You CAN'T be serious? Ah, fuck!"

To be honest, both of our better halves are avid sewers/knitters/quilters what have you, and we've been meaning to find a kind of place where we can find some stuff to bring home and make us heroes in the eyes of our lady friends. It's why were supposed to go to Kyoto last night, but circumstances made us abort that mission.

So, Tokyo's Fabric Town is the place to be, I guess. I was STILL tired from my insane sight-seeing pace all this week, and breakfast of a shitty Au Lait and a stale cinnamon roll didn't help me from being cranky, so I was a little bitch this morning. Roll all of that with childhood flashbacks (even despite her NOT being here!) of watching my mom's purse at a fabric store while she dove through rolls and rolls of fabric didn't help from keeping me from flipping out either. Such is bipolar disorder, I guess.

Well, we've been leaving earlier and earlier every day and we had a chance to walk around the area where Nippori Station was.

"Truth be told, there's not enough yarn in the world for my Jabba-esque Pug."

FLAG! "After further review, the ruling on the field is, 'No Ma'am, we do NOT want to taste you'. The Home Team will be penalized 10 yards. Repeat the down."

"Hey, guess what you can find at Fabric Town?"

The problem with fabric town was, it had a severe dearth of yarn. So we rolled on down the Yamanote line to Shinjuku Station, the World's Busiest Rail Connection.

"Pffft. That's It? I've seen bigger crowds after Chicago Sky games."

To be fair, 11 on a Saturday is not a fair judge of busy-ness. So we walked across the street to Tokyo's six story arts and crafts monolith and found this:

Yep... yarn. Well, that's what we're about. Mission. Accomplishment. Well, what to do, what to do, what do? Let me think... what could we check out next?

Oh hey, this map says "Akihabara" is around here some place.

"When Geeks pray, they face in this direction..."

Electric Town, Akiba, Akihabara or just "That place that smells like B.O. all the time" to the locals is probably the main thing that got me excited about this trip. Most neighborhoods in most cities are "Hey, this where the Swedish folks live, this is where the Mexicans live..." because they all wanted to go to the same church, then eat the same food, then work the same kinds of jobs. So every neighborhood had it's own butcher shop, haberdasher, law office.

But in Asia, where the centralizing force of the church is mostly absent, the neighborhoods are mostly laid out like "This is the food street, this is the fabric street" and so on. So after the war, with Japanese people rebuilding, they set up a neighborhood to resell radio equipment and watches, cameras, and other consumer goods. And this is what you end up getting today: A place for every nerd to find cool stuff cheap.

Dad explained it better. It's basically a massive open air flea market for electronics and gadgets. The SciFi manga, "Gothic Lolita" and maid cafes, western fast food joints, arcades, and basic "spectacle" popped up because it kept the technical people who fueled Japan's post-war comeback entertained. And despite all the cool throwback gaming, weird costumes, and stuff, the best parts of Akihabara were when it reminded us of some long-ago marketplace you see in the movies like Aladdin or Gladiator. Except with little devices, machines, and gadgets instead of food and textiles.

The main roads had your giant "Big Box" electronics places, like your Best Buys or OfficeMax. But the things we both loved were sticking our heads BEHIND the main roads, in the warrens, rat tunnels, and tight back alleys where all sorts of crazy stalls had every kind of electrical supply imaginable.

Soldering Guns? Oh yeah. Fiber Optic Lighting Cable? How long do you need it? Telescopes? Rice Cookers? Spy Cameras? Yes, yes, and yes.

I've been nervous about taking pictures in some places, so sorry I couldn't get a good picture of this gadget. It's called a "Stun Call" and it's a taser that's mocked up to look like a flip phone. Good luck accidentally answering that one in the middle of the night.

"Not for the Claustrophobic."

This would be a good time to point out that the place was PACKED with people of every race and nationality, and the Asian kids kept shoving me and putting their arm in the small of my already sore back . Yet when I shove back to get to something, suddenly *I'M* the asshole... the double standard between Japanese and Gaijin sucks.

This device (Illegal in the U.S.) automatically disconnects any cell phone you point it at.

"WHO in the hell still needs vacuum tubes?!?!"

And now for confession time. I'm beat. My dad is beat. We're tired of looking for places to eat that suits both of us, exhausted from all the travel and walking, and getting kind of homesick. It's basically time to go home. So we were bad. We did the worst sin imaginable in my Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" ethic: We had KFC for lunch.

Now, before we get lynched, let me point out that:

- It tasted different. Oil, chicken quality, everything. This is a good thing because apparently Japan has better food standards than us.

-Portions were small. This is fine, we could both stand to not each as much.

- Immediately after every "Western" meal either one of us eat, we both feel loggy and weird for a while. But Japanese food? Somehow it's more delicate for some reason. I can't explain. But you don't feel like you need a nap and some fresh air after eating Japanese style. You feel full, but not to the point you're about to burst.

"Giants bins of random crap? Yes please!"

This country is WAY to casual about porn, nudity, and sex."

"Yeah this thing is popular for SOME reason. They're street barkers for cafes where you over pay for cake and chocolate milk. Christ, no wonder we beat you in a war and not Vietnam or Iraq. Those countries are actually tough."

Arcades are almost extinct in America, but in Japan, they're HUGE. And "Hey" is the premier arcade in the world.

Fighting games often have a wait...

I had to get in on this.
Apparently this is where you pretend to pilot a Gundam.

I'm taking pictures behind them, because they charge to have their picture taken.

Here's something my programming professor would like: Linux Cafe, a place designated to promote open source coding and collaboration on codes and standards

"Super Potato? You're here in Tokyo too? We have to stop meeting like this. People will talk..."

"Remember the Virtual Boy? Nintendo would wish you wouldn't..."

Games after games after games. Most of which never made it to the U.S."

But Dad had a ton of cool things to see too. Hardware stores, electric testing equipment...

... Whole stores dedicated to robotics. Honestly, if us and Japan had to fight again, I doubt the US could withstand the coming army of mechsuits and cyborgs. Provided they aren't dressing up in frilly, frilly dresses that day.

Fer reals... robots are a huge deal here. Real and imaginary.

"Truth in advertising. How refreshing."

"Look out! It's PedoBear!" (Non-followers of super obscure internet memes should ignore that joke)

So as we were coming down to the end of our adventures, stuff all started coming together as a blur. Portable Storage sticks all look alike. And the here's a the worst news: For all the hype, most of the stuff was slightly cheaper in Den Den Town (despite it being much smaller), and none of it was cheaper than the equivalent in America. When I was researching HDTV's, The one I wanted to save up for was about $1700. But when I saw it here it was about 2300.

Same for cameras, phones, laptops, everything. No wonder I had so many foreigners come in when I worked at Best Buy. We're WAY cheaper than the supposedly ground zero of cheap electronics. So I came away both impressed and disappointed. Besides, how in the hell could we bring back EVERYTHING we wanted?

But I did see a toy store and had to go in. And again, I wasn't really allowed to take pictures, but...

They had EVERY Star Wars toy made since Episode I came out. Kit Fisto, Mace Windu, they're all here!

I could have spent hours in this store, browsing the descriptions and admiring the modeling. But dad was waiting downstairs, beat and tired from spending hours wandering just about every back alley of Akihabara and not even scratching the surface. Most shops had multiple floors and we just couldn't bring ourselves to climbing them all.

But in the Sports Figure section, I did notice:

"Cedric Benson? Hey, how about I give you 3200 yen and YOU keep him?"

Kids waiting for someone to leave a comic book store so they can get in. It's so crowded the occupancy laws required a bouncer...
And Dad won the "Best Purchase" battle. An "mp5" player with full motion video, speakers on the outside, touch screen, 2 GB of on board memory, and "As Long As You Love Me" by the Backstreet Boys preloaded. The downside of it is the construction is flimsy and the buttons sink when you push them like wet sand. But it was ONLY 3200 yen! Damn. For that money, he should have bought four and resold them for 5 times that here in the states.

The problem with this find is, surprises like this were few and far between. They had to be painstakingly hunted. Which is part of the fun when it's the Saturday Morning Computer Show in Orland Park. Not so much fun when it's the greatest place in the world for electronics.

Oh, and it started raining after we got back to the hotel. We went out for a quick bite, and I noticed something.

Something I always admire about Seattle and Chicago is that, when it rains, and unless you're wearing a suit or it's a total downpour, men in those towns don't carry umbrellas. I think umbrellas are girly. Well, within minutes, every guy in Tokyo whipped one out.

"It's a wonder they didn't give up Iwo Jima easier. Yeesh."

Exhausted from the trip, we returned to where we ate the first night we were here for our last big meal before we leave. If you notice in almost all our food photos, we're having beer. That's because I don't know what the Japanese word for "water" is. (iPod lookup... and apparently its "Mizu". Huh, well, too late for that now.)

"Arigato Goziamasu, Tempura Hitler!"

We then returned early, when everyone else was just starting to come out for a night on the town, to rest, pack, and watch bad Japanese television. Which reminds me, I'm tired of being the only person who's nightmares are fueled by this commercial: